Thursday, July 06, 2006

Expectations.... it's seriously taking a toll on me, remember the day before i was talking to Mdm Thor, I could still remember her last sentence vividly, "Kao Ge Yi Hui Lai Ge Wo Kan, Wo Xiang Xin Ni Neng Zuo De Dao...", it still appears in my mind now and then. This are some of the many examples that i can name, i sometimes feel that if i end up not achieving any expectations that are made and placed on me and myself, i may just end up feeling disappointed, disappointed i did not work enough to achieve what i want, seriously, ahhhhh!!!!!

The past week have just been havoc, tons of homework, especially for maths which i totally suck at, the non-stop flow of mock papers wk by wk, the weekly tests which is driving me nuts, the tons of work that i want to complete for my department before i pass out, start studying for Prelims which i haven find the time to etc. I try to find time to fit in everything but i'll end up falling asleep thanks to lethargicness and have no time to complete everything.....

This week is nat. comp week, everyone's talking about it, maybe not everyone (it somehow seems quieter this year), hope that both teams can meet their goals and objectives, Team Scorpio- this is the last comp. that i would see them through as an NCO, training them for about year now, everything that they learnt would be put to the test on Sunday and I hope that they can pass it with flying colours and achieve what they ought to achieve, everytime i see them go on stage i would be like so happy for them, so jia youzzz Scorpio. Team Taurus- wdv, i dont know whther they would stumble onto this, but i actually have only one and only one hope for ourselves, end our comp journey with a bang, we started with one by sweeping everything at zone comp 2004, I hope that we would once again end with a bang at nat. comp. 2006.

AP's coming, we just had our first AP rehersal today, it made me imagine what it would be like on the day of AP itself, honestly i have mixed feelings about AP 2006, sometimes i feel very tired, very tired of being in squad taurus the craziness and everything is driving me nuts i just cannot adapt and just one AP to come quickly so i can end everything, but on the other hand, AP 2006 means having to leave my fav. and beloved dept. CPBS, when i first join it last year, i thought it would be another journey through, but on the other hand my love and interest for it grew and seriously now i am willing to do anything for the department to enable it to stand out in SJI-SJAB. This feeling somehow made me remember the question ronn posed to me "Why do you like going overseas to holiday and sightsee and learn new things so much?" my answer at that time was "to get rid of all worries and leave behind everything and to have fun, just to have fun", at that time i didn't realise i was actually like avoiding things until he alerted me to it, hence AP 2006 good thing?bad thing?... i seriously have no idea.....

Finally, i have to say this out, groan and moan about this, XIANGYANG MARKET IN SHANGHAI HAS CLOSED DOWN ON 1 JULY2006, i was like wth, how can the chinese government close down a market that allows tourists to have tons of fun bargaining and crapping with the shopkeepers, among the 2 times i went to Shanghai, visited it a total of 5 times during the 2 trips and indeed interesting things happen. I remember i got scolded for insisting that i pay only 10 yuan for a 90 yuan hat which the shopkeeper would not want to decrease further, seeing a russian woman i think quarreling with a male shopkeeper until want to fight like that seriously an interesting sight, had some great bargains, bought a 300 over yuan shoe for 90-100 yuan and 200 over yuan shirt for 80-90 yuan forget about the price liao (but now i feel abit ex. lolz), got cheated too during scavenger hunt with school group could have bought the Mao's watch for 20 yuan our group bought it about 50 yuan quite ex. you know, 10 bucks is not cheap and finally, seeing the power of bargaining for the frst time. To sum it all up, it was just FUN, FUN and MORE FUN, BARGAINING, now no more such fun in shanghai liao, if you want must go BEijing Xiu Shui Jie same as XiangYAng but don't know one day whether they would close it down. quite interested to know about all these, shall ask my shanghai dao you someday, *awaits*....

The background song is actually from "Wu Chu Cai Hong" sang by SHI XIN HUI, it has become one of my favourites since, listen to the lyrics carefully, it is actually a song to motivate someone to carry on despite of any troubles and failures.....

"suo you de zhang sheng ge wo li liang, meng xiang de cai hong jiu zai qian fang"

____________&{ memories within here.